Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
