apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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