I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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