Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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