I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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