I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize