So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
