Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
