the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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