she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
