dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
