Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
