We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
