Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
