there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Panties = found
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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