Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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