If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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