everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
