you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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