she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I stole a fireplace last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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