Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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