Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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