i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
