why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
