i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
