She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
