please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize