We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
