I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
