Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
