Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
