We won't sleep together?
Porn is love you can see.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
