My hand turned me down
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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