Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
