Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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