That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
