Whod you bang
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
