Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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