clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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