Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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