The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
