i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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