nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if only i could text you this smell
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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