You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
