my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
