my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
