If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
