Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
