theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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