WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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