He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
