that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
