marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
