god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
