I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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