So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
