I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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