Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
