If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
