its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
