My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
