ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My pussy is not your playground.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
